Today, I have parents on the brain. It can be a challenge when your teen or young adult is making the poorest of choices and maybe even deliberately being counterproductive or outright ignoring all external attempts made by others to help him or her. It can be tempting for parents to personalize the experience and blame themselves, or even lash out and blame someone else. It can be scary to watch on the sidelines as your efforts to guide and empower your child fall frighteningly short. It might seem as natural as the sun rising, to try that much harder to control your child, the environment, outcomes, etc. I have no guaranteed solution for you, dear parent. But, I do urge you to remain calm, and have some degree of faith. Believe the best, allowing only positivity to occupy space in your brain...and choose to be hopeful. If you are meeting with resistance from a teen, momentarily pause preoccupation with performance and outcomes and shift focus towards your relationship. Never be so overcome by the adversity you are currently facing with your child, that you somehow cannot find goodness in him or her to hold on to and nurture. Shifting focus and conveying unconditional love does not equate to unbridled acceptance or condonation. But it might be worth it to reevaluate your some of your expectations and for sure be aware of all your inner desires/dreams for the lad...abandoning preconceived ideas of how things should be, opting instead to practice radical acceptance of the current reality.
Tweets for the day!
"Parents, one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to always believe the best in them and convey it often...even as they make poor choices."
"Time is precious. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty about valuing the one resource you cannot acquire more of in your lifetime."
"Boundaries include acknowledging that 'your way' is not the only way. Don't be rigid. Allow space for others to try creative alternatives."
"Parents sometimes selfishly forget that unfortunately, they can negatively reflect on their children. I have seen people avoid a child because of who their parents are. Please, don't forget your unintentional reach."